Why Do Narcissists Ignore You?
By Tigress Luv, author of The Breakup Eraser
Why do narcissists ignore you? Because they are scared of you. Why are they scared of you? Because you know who they really are.
Narcissists will ignore four types of people:
1) The person who doesn't like them, doesn't adore them, or doesn't feed them their narcissistic supply
2) The person they feel is a rival (better quality, looks, character and/or talent than them / more attention than them)
3) The person who knows who they REALLY ARE under their fake, phony exterior 'public' image
4) The person who has injured their ego
So, why do narcissists ignore you? Because you are – in one way or another – not going to feed them their adoration cookies and they feel threatened by you.
1) Narcissists ignore you because you either don't like them, you don't worship them, you don't think highly of them, or you don't feed them their narcissistic supply.
What this means is that they don't have you fooled like they have everybody else fooled. You are not one of their 'followers'. You have a mind of your own and you are good at reading people. You don't fall for other's fake charm easily and you are not one to compliment people unless you feel really strongly about one of their assets.
2) Narcissists ignore you because they feel you are a rival. This means that they feel you may get more attention than they may, you may excel at a certain craft or talent better than they may, or you may just be plain better looking. If you are naturally gregarious and you genuinely like people and people genuinely like you, the narcissist will not have anything to do with you. He is beyond envious, bordering on hate and he chooses to simply ignore you in hopes that you will simply 'disappear'.
The exception to this rule would be if he wants to date you so that he can gain (for himself) some of the popularity and accolades that seem to follow you. Of course, once he has ‘used you up’ he will no longer want to be around you, because then you would be his ‘competition’ for that very same attention.
3) Narcissists ignore you if you know them for who they really are. This way he does not validate your opinions or feelings. If you know the man under the mask, and you expose him, he will ignore you. Narcissist can't risk their real self being revealed and, if you are aware of their real self, you pose as a risk. What if you were to reveal to others that he is a fraud, a phony and a fake? Or what if you reveal to the world that who he is is really just a 'false persona' that he has perfected? He can't risk you revealing his true identity – not even to himself, as the last thing he wants to do is admit to himself that he isn't great.
In this case, the narcissist will ignore you because he doesn't want to acknowledge his true identity and he doesn't want you to reveal it, either. You could bring his world down and crashing around him were you to call him out on his narcissism. So, by ignoring you he takes away the validity of your opinions. You become a 'nothing' and a 'nothing' can't have valid judgments.
4) Narcissists ignore you as a punishment. Narcissists like to punish people who don’t worship them. If you have pointed out a flaw or fault in the narcissist, he may simply choose to ignore you instead of raging. This is his way of ‘killing you off’ without actually getting his hands bloody. You may be ostracized, given the cold shoulder or silent treatment, or not be included in his plans. He is silently abusing you for whatever his conceived (or perceived) injury is. You can read my article, Silent Treatment: A Form of Abuse or my article Ostracism and the Ex - The Ultimate Rejection for more information on the silent treatment. Also, I have written extensively on narcissists, and was with one myself for over eight years. You can read more about my experience, and about overcoming the narcissist by visiting my page Living with, Loving and Leaving a Narcissist.
To some it all up ....
Why do narcissists ignore you? Because, one way or another, you represent a threat to their ego.
NOTE: I just want to elaborate on Number One. Many people may say, "yes, I do know he is fake, but I also know the real man, and I do love the 'real man'". OK, first off, do you really 'love' the real man, or do you feel sorry for him? Pity and love are not the same. Many women want to 'fix' their men, and pity can often be mistaken for love by a woman who wants to fix her guy. Secondly, are you even sure that who you think is the 'real man' isn't actually just another 'layer', like an onion? And, lastly, the narcissist doesn't want you to like the 'real man'. If he doesn't want the 'real man' revealed or exposed, why do you think loving him is going to change that insanity? Love is not a magical cure for illnesses, either physical or mental. Life is just not that fairy-tale-like. Also, if the narcissist doesn't like his 'real self' he will dislike, disrespect and distrust anybody who does.
In closing, let me say that the question shouldn't be 'why do narcissists ignore you', but rather why do I want the narcissist to not ignore me?
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